Friday, January 1, 2016

GUEST POST: Embrace 2016 with Confusion & Questions

Ah! Why has is been so long since I've blogged? Life gets busy but I want to be better than that silly excuse.

Working on getting better! 

Never did I think 2015 would make me a blogger- if I even count..  but it did and I slightly LOVE it.

Welcome to 2016! 
It has already brought one of my favorite things- a guest post! 

One of my most treasured friendships is that with Veena & Paras. 

I consider them a friendship "pair". 

Unlike socks, usually only one survives months of use, but these two have been tried and true through many years of drug tests, political debates, dance parties, and countless memories. 

After much teasing, Paras finally decided to actually give some substance towards my blog journey, and voluntarily provided me with a post.

He's one of the most kind hearted, open- minded, and culturally educated individuals I know, and despite his ego being extra large- his true humility does shine through from time to time. I hope you enjoy his ramblings as much as I pretend  to.

Its long but he's good. I promise. 

Bridging gaps

I find myself confused.

Before I explain, first a little bit about myself. It's relevant, I promise, and in no manner a veiled attempt at a humble-brag (or is it?).

I was born in India, to parents who were both born and raised in the same district, before they they themselves emigrated to Botswana via Zambia. As it happens, i was in India only to arrive into this beautiful world, before packing my nappies with my mum and heading to Botswana, where I was raised and which became my adopted home. I was born, raised and still am a Hindu. I went to an international school, and my primary and secondary education both had a large dose of
Commonwealth in it; uniforms, long socks, ties, houses and all 

(I was a legacy Weaver, which was yellow house - so yes, in my mind I was Gryffindor).

My best friends are Welsh, Dutch and Indian, and I grew up around fellow Batswana and Indian immigrants. I speak English, Gujarati and Hindi, can understand Setswana if its spoken slowly enough, and thought I was good at French till I actually went to France.
--> ("these are all lies"- Heather...jk jk) 

Eventually, I ended up coming to the USA , setting up in NC, where I currently reside, still littered with travel back to Botswana and India whenever I can. I am a health professional from a farming family that worked as teachers and ended up as entrepreneurs, all things i dabble in as well. 
--> ("that humility thing shows up eventually I promise"- Heather) 

When HR asked me to write a guest post, I thought to myself what can I write about? I threw out ideas, "Chipotle vs Moes: which is the best burrito" or "The Ultimate Guide to 90s Cartoons" both of which were shut down too quickly for my liking. 

So, i thought some more.

Eventually, I kept coming back to our friendship and how we were able to become close friends (you will have to ask her if the feeling is mutual), something she agreed may work better for what is (for now) her blog.

So why is this all relevant? 

As you can probably tell by now, HR and I are very different, with very different world views, ideas, thoughts, music taste, food taste (curry always wins) and so much more.

And as I stated previously, I consider myself confused. Why you ask? 

Well, since I was a kid (again, see above) I have been exposed to many different views, people and cultures, all while trying to fit into different places, trying to figure what my purpose is, and trying to muster the courage to speak to girls (thankfully i finally did succeed in that department).
--> ("have you though?"- Heather) 

I find myself constantly asking questions and thinking about situations-->mostly in an overly dramatic way. 

What is right? Do I do this or that? Where is my place? Who am I and where do I belong? Am I considered Indian, African or American? How can I get out of this one? Is my mum going to kill me? What is the meaning of life? 
(The answer is 42 by the way)

But - and here is the clanger - I think its great being confused
I think my confusion is directly related to my exposure. My experiences, friendships, and background. 

Because of this confusion, I have constantly asked myself questions and thought about situations. 
Luka Chan via Pintrest via

This in the turn has strengthened my own world view (Indian Heart, American Head, African soul) and formed the foundations of who I am as a person. 

I remember while on a family vacation, I asked my father why he took us traveling all the time. His response, which i will never forget. "Exposure is the key to learning."

That exposure, and all the experiences that came with it, I would like to think played a part in me being a better version of my self (on a relative scale).

Going back to mine and HR's friendship: 
As unlikely as it would seem, two completely different people becoming close friends I think comes down to one thing - 

We never, ever, never agree on anything. 

How are we close friends then? 

She challenges my viewpoint, irritates and confuses me some more, and gets me thinking. We get to having discussions (sometimes arguments), she provides new observations and I try to do the same. We both may get annoyed sometimes, but these discussions are valuable, because it allows us to bridge gaps. 

We honestly question each other. If we can't agree, we always know we can at least understand each other. 

And all that is the very reason we remain friends.

Thats the thing about being confused.. 

Because when you are confused, you are searching for answers, trying to figure things out, trying to understand different perspectives,  and solidifying your own world view, while making an impact on others and shaping relationships. 

If nothing else, at least it gets you thinking. 

So stay confused my friends, discuss, experience and get exposed. 

Bridge gaps. 

And perhaps, if you are lucky, you will make a friend (or two) out of it. 
Cheers, P